We could, if we were so inclined, attempt to produce the longest single sentence possible in relation to the very terse if not downright laconic one sentence post that began this conversation, but that could be construed as 1) a considerable amount of work for a one-sentence post, 2) an attempt to display and show off our considerable writing skills or 3) a way to avoid going to the dump, which my wife now expects me to do.
Yes, you are correct in all three of your suppositions; nevertheless, it would be amusing to attempt to create a long sentence,, using many subordinate clauses, not to mention parenthetical statements (such as this one), just for the sake of doing so, with no attempt at actually communicating any useful -- or, for that matter, interesting -- information whatsoever, but merely to ramble, nearly incessantly, for as long as one's cold fingers will allow, or until the space allowed for leaving a comment is full and won't permit any further characters to be typed, or until one's dog chews one's leg off in an effort to get one up off one's butt to go play, or until one gets utterly bored with the concept of writing the world's longest and most inane sentence.
Ok, do you think Retired Mama even bothers to READ her blog? I mean, clearly she can't be bothered to post. But you'd think, given that she is, oh I dunno, RETIRED, she'd have time to write a really long sentence.
Her one-sentence post is titled WELCOME, but I have to say, I'm not feeling very welcome. Usually, a host will at least speak to her guests, not just ignore them for well over a week...
Exactly! I mean, if we were at her house and she ignored us, we could at least rearrange her furniture, hide things and generally create mischief. And I realize we're attempting to do that here, but it's not having much effect.
have a sneaking suspicion Retired Mama's offspring maybe set up this blog on her computer in the hopes that she might be so inclined to do a bit of posting now and then but what they didnt take into account was that Retired mama having worked for so long perhaps in a 9-5 offcie job hates the thought of sitting at an old computer tap tapping away in a pattern that reminds her of her office and she wants to break away from that pattern , so she is out maybe shopping, having lunch with a girlfriend, getting her hair done , taking in a matinee, having her hair done, watching a soap re run in the afternoon when the house is quiet and peaceful or maybe JUST HAVING A PLAIN OLD NAP or even baking up a batch of cookies for Working Daughter - oh all the things that she wanted to do at random and couldnt because she was a responsible carrer woman - omigod I've spoken longer than any of you - do you realsie it and Im too far away to join in any of the activities that you're cheerfully planning around Retired Mama's blog but we can still hang around cyberspace and I suddenly realised that it's 5 days since I posted so I better do that soon before my blog becomes a vacant lot like Retired Mama's and is this the longest sentence or what and if it doesnt inspire RM to post nothing will ! ( gasp )
Retired Mama's not one to boast, for her kids are far worse than most. They mock her all day -- Lord knows what they'll say -- And all 'cause she won't write a post!
32 comments:
Well, it seems like you passed your test.
We should change the settings to allow anonymous comments, or AD will not be able to comment.
It could force her to sign up and play along, but who knows...
Hey there! It is fun to chat in cyber space ... but it was more fun haning out in the same space!
We miss everyone!
At least it's shorter than the SATs...
Yes, as tests go, this one was relatively stress-free.
Perhaps its a test of longivity, to see how long posts last...
Or perhaps to see how many comments a one-sentence post can generate.
well I'll join in and contribute to the numbers - maybe we could create a record of sorts on a test blog ?!
We could, if we were so inclined, attempt to produce the longest single sentence possible in relation to the very terse if not downright laconic one sentence post that began this conversation, but that could be construed as 1) a considerable amount of work for a one-sentence post, 2) an attempt to display and show off our considerable writing skills or 3) a way to avoid going to the dump, which my wife now expects me to do.
Yes, you are correct in all three of your suppositions; nevertheless, it would be amusing to attempt to create a long sentence,, using many subordinate clauses, not to mention parenthetical statements (such as this one), just for the sake of doing so, with no attempt at actually communicating any useful -- or, for that matter, interesting -- information whatsoever, but merely to ramble, nearly incessantly, for as long as one's cold fingers will allow, or until the space allowed for leaving a comment is full and won't permit any further characters to be typed, or until one's dog chews one's leg off in an effort to get one up off one's butt to go play, or until one gets utterly bored with the concept of writing the world's longest and most inane sentence.
I knew you were gonna kick my ass
Ok, do you think Retired Mama even bothers to READ her blog? I mean, clearly she can't be bothered to post. But you'd think, given that she is, oh I dunno, RETIRED, she'd have time to write a really long sentence.
Or not.
There is certainly no eveidence to suggest that she reads the comments. Although maybe she does and just doesn't respond.
Can someone lurk on their own blog?
Her one-sentence post is titled WELCOME, but I have to say, I'm not feeling very welcome. Usually, a host will at least speak to her guests, not just ignore them for well over a week...
Exactly! I mean, if we were at her house and she ignored us, we could at least rearrange her furniture, hide things and generally create mischief. And I realize we're attempting to do that here, but it's not having much effect.
Or we could poke her repeatedly and see how long it took her to say, "Stop touching me."
Poke. Poke. Poke.
Perhaps we couls even chase her birds around the place.
Chase chase chase
We could set up bird races. Invite the neighbors over, have some friendly wagering and perhaps some snacks.
Of course, we'd have to prepare our own snacks, because clearly Retired Mama isn't very hospitable.
have a sneaking suspicion Retired Mama's offspring maybe set up this blog on her computer in the hopes that she might be so inclined to do a bit of posting now and then but what they didnt take into account was that Retired mama having worked for so long perhaps in a 9-5 offcie job hates the thought of sitting at an old computer tap tapping away in a pattern that reminds her of her office and she wants to break away from that pattern , so she is out maybe shopping, having lunch with a girlfriend, getting her hair done , taking in a matinee, having her hair done, watching a soap re run in the afternoon when the house is quiet and peaceful or maybe JUST HAVING A PLAIN OLD NAP or even baking up a batch of cookies for Working Daughter - oh all the things that she wanted to do at random and couldnt because she was a responsible carrer woman - omigod I've spoken longer than any of you - do you realsie it and Im too far away to join in any of the activities that you're cheerfully planning around Retired Mama's blog but we can still hang around cyberspace and I suddenly realised that it's 5 days since I posted so I better do that soon before my blog becomes a vacant lot like Retired Mama's and is this the longest sentence or what and if it doesnt inspire RM to post nothing will ! ( gasp )
Brilliant, eve's lungs!!!
Yep, I think even eve's lungs need to gasp for breath after that. Nicely done.
Next task: haiku!
Birds all a-flutter
Retired Mama sits at home
Refuses to blog
Welcome in, she says
Daring readers to linger
In silence alone
We passed her test, but
for weary traveling guests
there will be no snacks
NASCAR drivers steer
left in meaningless circles
Yet accomplish more
Falling on deaf ears
Unheard cries for attention
Die in cyberspace
My motorcycle
is in many small pieces
Awaiting magic
(Thought I'd change it up...)
Okay, we'll leave RM alone for a while
Going to the bank
depositing some money
so I can pay bills
I'm bored with Haiku...
On to limericks!
On a blog from Merced
A "welcome" post clearly misled.
while visitors came,
the blog stayed the same
and the author kept playing dead!
Retired Mama's not one to boast,
for her kids are far worse than most.
They mock her all day --
Lord knows what they'll say --
And all 'cause she won't write a post!
Post a Comment